I am craving a new tattoo so badly!


My boyfriend and I have been looking for an apartment, and having barely any luck. Nevertheless, any money we collectively have is being saved up for a first and last months deposit when we finally find and get accepted to one. I haven't gotten a tattoo for months! My newest ink is more than five months old. The other day while out at a viewing, Josh and I ran in to a friend of his who had just got a new tattoo done. He's covered already, I was hugely jealous! Especially with the fact my angelbites had to be taken out, I'm really biting to get something new done. I have that "naked" feeling you get when things aren't comfortable.


Tattooing is like acupuncture or walking on hot coals to me; it's soothing. It's a rush. All the positive emotion that comes with getting a tattoo outweighs the physical sensation for me... which isn't really pain anyway. Just intense pins-and-needles-like vibrations. With the business and stress life's presented lately, some fresh ink would really do me well!


Once we get settled in a new place, I'm going to put money towards either the piece I want done on my back or the one I want on my thigh. On my back, I'm planning to get dark, very realistic looking crow wings, and on my thigh, an extravagant dreamcatcher with a line from Poe, "All that we see or seem; is but a dream within a dream". 


I can't wait until life mellows out again, and I can afford another tattoo.

Ever wondered, what do a deaf persons' thoughts sound like? Or what a blind persons' dreams look like?

These are the questions my mind wanders off to when I stay up until 4am watching Smallville and spend another hour laying still as a statue trying to catch whatever z's I can before my 7:30am wakeup. Possibly inspired by the episode where Lionel Luther's "blindness" façade is seen through, I trailed off to these two questions; and they just boggle my mind with possible answers.

If a person never hears any spoken language, what do they sound like in their own head? Symbols with representative features and no sound? Or do they guess the noises that might be produced by the formation of a persons mouth? Can they still hear their own voice in their head? If so, what language is it speaking in? Possibly, they've created their own language form. Possibly, the concept of language is something in our nature, rather than something we learn from our environment while developing. All existing ones had to come from somewhere before they were set in stone by dictionaries and ruled by grammar. But then again, if you look at feral children who have no concept of language whatsoever - other than a few grunts, growls and moans they could have inherited from animals or surrounding sounds, like beatboxers do - this theory is out-ruled. They have never heard anything, they have no concept of sound, so what exactly DO their thoughts sound like to them?

The same goes for blind people. They have never seen, so what do they dream of? They've heard, felt, tasted, smelled.. maybe those things make up their visions of things unseen. We've never seen Heaven or Hell, but all of us have some idea of what it might look like. In a way, we are blind to things we imagine. But those with the ability to see, could be producing imaginations by distorting the reality they view every day. Or maybe there are cases like DareDevil, where supersonic hearing grants the gift of "sight" when noises are made. I should look up blind painters...

And then arises the question, what if you are deaf AND blind? You have nothing to go off other than touch, smell, and taste... ahhhhh, I'll leave that one to explore in another blog.

For some reason, I have the worst luck lately.


So lets just explore my misfortune here. First off, I bought 34 coffees from Timmies in total this Roll Up the Rim season. Seeing as the odds are advertised as "1 in 6", I'm a little shocked that I was greeted with a "please play again" 34 times... I won't be doing any gambling or bets based on a coin toss any time soon. If life were COD, I'd be playing against lady luck, and her k/d ratio would be AMAZING.


Last night, during on a drunken whim, I decided to set fire to a plastic water bottle... let's just explain this story in short with a nice little equation. Drunkenness+fire, already a bad combination. Drunkenness+fire+water bottle=toxic chemical gas. A worse combination. Now let's add my eyeball. We are finally brought to the equation: drunkenness+fire+water bottle=toxic chemical gas+eyeball=24 hours+3 hospital visits+searing pain+near blindness=an eye freezing and pirate swag.


All in all, don't believe I'll base my life purchases on the assumption I'll win the lottery. Or, y'know, ever play with fire again.

I've already posted about how important I think meanings behind tattoos are. 


I introduced my first tattoo - "No se arrepiente, solo el amor" on my back. So I thought I would write a little bit about another. The second tattoo says "Don't carry the world upon your shoulders" across both of my shoulders. It starts on my left, and ends on my right.


I've always loved the Beatles, firstly. I have a whole sleeve planned based on my love and connection to music, that includes many references to the Beatles. "Hey Jude" has been a    song that lifted me up when I was in my deepest, darkest ruts of life. Most of these ruts were because I tried to carry way too much of the world upon my shoulders. I'm a problem solver. I like to solve all problems, right here and right now. Not only my own problems, but those of others too. I am way too concerned with the issues in the world and with myself, and it tears me apart when I can't solve them right away.


The tattoo is a reminder to be free. To concentrate on me, before I can help anyone else. It's a reminder to stay happy, and that there is a way out of every rut, if I just keep calm and carry on.

Everything is theory. Nothing we know or believe in truly IS.


From the moment we are born we are conditioned. We are told stories, and fed beliefs and ideals and customs. Things we hear about religion, society, the universe all become what we know. What we think is real. We are subliminally boxed in, yet we think that the ideas and thoughts and actions we have are our own. We only push the limits when we try to think free. We have learned growing up that there is a realism that nothing can exist outside of.


The ones of us who see no limits to possibility are usually classed as crazy. But why? Why is everything we know today the only possibility? For example, why is it either God or the Big Bang that created us? Why is it only possible that our planet has living beings? Why is it unacceptable to weigh a certain amount? Why do we need a governing body? Why is money our only currency and source of wealth? Why is the education system so crucial? Why do we need technology? Why can't monster, mutants, superpowers and superheroes be hiding amongst us? Why can't there be alternate dimensions where our souls live on past our bodies expiration date?


Everything we know is a theory, created by our ancestors and the people who lived before us. When society consisted of very few people, and one person shared their ideals of anything, the rest followed. They then passed that on to their successors, their kin, their friends and the theories became reality. 


We could be living in a Utopian world, where reality has no limits, where society has no restrictions. If the world were reborn, without government, without wealth; a place where society sustains by it's own hands, we would be so much happier and free.

More than this, we could discover so much more if we didn't cancel out possibilities that stand outside the box of the modern "norm". We could advance so much more quickly as intellectual beings and as a living race. We are just ignorant to anything other than what has existed as "real", "logical", "possible" and "within reason".


If you can break from the box, break from the conditioning you've been given, you can see that reality is infinite and limitless. Everything is a possibility, because nothing is actually known.

I was on the bus the other day and received some pretty strong criticism from an elderly woman about my piercings.

She mentioned how unnatural it was of me to be sticking needles and metal into my skin for the purpose of vanity, and how both piercings AND vanity itself were sins. The thing I found amazing about her critique was that she delivered it both respectfully and calmly. She wasn't outraged about it, she didn't cause a scene, but very simply laid out her opinion. She was just mislead; as most people are when it comes to body modifications. She was wearing lipstick and had her ears pierced, herself. Had it have been a different tone of conversation, I would have replied to her "I suppose you were naturally born wearing earrings, then?".

(My piercings: angelbites, and a septum)

It made me start to really wonder why it is that tattoos, piercings and all things related have become so taboo in today's society? We either have to search back into primitive times or seek hope in the far future to see body modifications as an accepted part of our cultures. Unfortunately, we've created a stereotype for people who fall under the category of "modified" in society. Most people see piercings and tattoos as "dirty", "trashy" or "unprofessional". It's a shame that this is what we have turned something that derived from a cultured tradition into this sort of image (maybe a concept I'll go into in another blog). It's hard to break the mould of a stereotype once it's been hardened in to the minds of the public. 

I long for the day where all body art can be considered accepted, and appearance comes second to persona.

I'm a strong believer that all tattoos should hold meaning behind them.


If you're going to be getting something done to you that is permanent, it should reflect yourself. It should have deep meaning, and a thought behind it. You should never act on impulse when it comes to tattoos.


When I got my first tattoo, it was sort of impulsive. The quote was something I had in my mind for over a year, and had really found personal meaning in, but it was done unprofessionally. Unfortunately, it's almost gone now. I plan to get it redone, perhaps in another spot now that I've had time to plan other designs. The quote says - illegibly now - "No se arrepienté, solo el amor", which, in English, means "No regrets, just love".


Simply said, the meaning behind it came from the idea that so many people claim to regret or hate people they have given their heart to in their lives. No only in a romantic way, but in any lifetime relationship. Friendships, family, etc. People often get hurt, and say they wish they "never met" a certain person or never let them in. I don't think that you should regret any relationship or any love in your life. Even something that didn't last, something that broke your heart, gave you an experience. You loved them at one point, and they made you happy and impacted your life. Every person you meet, whether it be a long-term connection or a one-time-meeting, affects you as a person and impacts what life path fate leads you down. 


I use this quote a lot in my life. And after being hurt by my first love - we ALL have this story to tell - I realized that even though he let me down and hurt me, he is a huge part of who I am today.


No regrets, just love.